The Hidden Struggle With Toxic Masculinity – Guide In 2024

The Hidden Struggle With Toxic Masculinity: What does it mean to be a man in today’s society? How do men cope with the expectations, pressures, and stereotypes imposed by the media, culture, and peers? How do men deal with the emotions, vulnerabilities, and insecurities they are taught to suppress, deny, or hide?

Many men struggle with these questions about masculinity but rarely talk about it. This struggle is part of a problem called toxic masculinity, which refers to harmful and strict norms of masculinity that can limit and damage men’s well-being, relationships, and self-esteem.

Toxic masculinity is not only a problem for men but also for women, children, and society. It can contribute to violence, aggression, homophobia, and other social issues.

In this post, I’ll explore toxic masculinity, what causes it, how it affects men’s health and personal and professional lives, and offer tips on how to overcome it and embrace a healthier version of masculinity.

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What is toxic masculinity?

Toxic masculinity is a term that describes the negative aspects of masculinity that are harmful to men and others. It is not a biological or innate trait but a social and cultural construct that defines how men should think, feel, and act. It is based on the assumption that there is only one way to be a man and that any deviation from that norm is a sign of weakness, inferiority, or femininity.

Common Characteristics of Toxic Masculinity

Here are some common characteristics of toxic masculinity:

Aggression

Toxic masculinity encourages men to be violent, dominant, and competitive and to use physical force or intimidation to assert their power and authority. It also discourages men from showing empathy, compassion, or sensitivity and resolving conflicts peacefully or cooperatively.

Stoicism

Toxic masculinity expects men to be tough, resilient, and self-reliant and to endure pain, hardship, or stress without complaining or asking for help. It also prevents men from expressing their emotions, feelings, or needs and from seeking support or counseling when they are struggling or suffering.

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Homophobia

Toxic masculinity rejects any form of masculinity that is not heteroual, cisgender, or conforming to traditional gender roles. It also mocks, insults, or attacks any man who displays traits or behaviors that are considered feminine, gay, or queer and who challenges the rigid binary of masculinity and femininity.

How does toxic masculinity affect men?

Toxic masculinity hurts men’s well-being, relationships, and self-esteem. It can cause men to suffer from various physical, mental, and emotional problems, such as:

Physical health

Toxic masculinity can lead men to engage in risky or unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking, drinking, drug use, or reckless driving, that can harm their health and safety. It can also prevent men from seeking medical attention or treatment when sick or injured or from adopting preventive measures, such as regular check-ups, screenings, or vaccinations, to protect their health and prevent diseases.

Mental health

Toxic masculinity can cause men to experience stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental disorders that can affect their mood, motivation, and productivity. It can also increase the risk of suicide, as men are more likely to die by suicide than women and less likely to seek help or therapy when they are suicidal.

Emotional health

Toxic masculinity can prevent men from developing emotional intelligence, which is the ability to understand, manage, and express one’s own emotions and to empathize, communicate, and relate with others’ emotions. It can also hinder men from forming meaningful and satisfying relationships, as they may struggle to trust, respect, or love themselves or others or to cope with conflict, rejection, or loss.

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How does toxic masculinity affect others?

Toxic masculinity is not only a problem for men but also for others who interact with them or who are affected by their actions. It can cause harm to women, children, and society as a whole, such as:

Women

Toxic masculinity can expose women to various forms of violence, harassment, or discrimination that can violate their rights, dignity, and safety. It can also limit their opportunities, choices, and freedoms, as they may face barriers, biases, or stereotypes in education, work, or politics or be expected to conform to traditional gender roles in family, household, or caregiving.

Children

Toxic masculinity can influence children’s development, identity, and behavior, as they may learn from or imitate the toxic masculine models that they see in their parents, peers, or media. It can also affect their well-being, education, and socialization, as they may suffer from abuse, neglect, or bullying or face challenges, pressures, or expectations that are inappropriate for their age, gender, or personality.

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Society

Toxic masculinity can contribute to various social issues, such as crime, war, terrorism, or corruption, that can threaten the peace, security, and justice of the world. It can also undermine the society’s diversity, equality, and harmony, as it may create divisions, conflicts, or tensions among different groups, cultures, or ideologies or marginalize, oppress, or exclude those who are different, minority, or vulnerable.

How can men overcome toxic masculinity?

Toxic masculinity is not inevitable, natural, or permanent. It is possible, desirable, and beneficial for men to overcome poisonous masculinity and adopt a more positive and healthy version of masculinity that allows them to be themselves and to be better for themselves and others. Here are some tips and strategies on how men can do that:

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Recognize and challenge toxic masculinity.

The first step to overcoming toxic masculinity is to recognize and challenge its existence, influence, and impact. Men should be aware of the sources, signs, and symptoms of toxic masculinity and how it affects them and others. 

They should also question and critique the norms, values, and messages of poisonous masculinity and how they are propagated and reinforced by the media, culture, and peers. They should also resist and reject the pressures, expectations, and stereotypes of toxic masculinity and not let them define or dictate their identity, behavior, or choices.

Explore and express one’s masculinity.

The second step to overcoming toxic masculinity is to explore and express one’s masculinity and to find out what it means to be a man for oneself. Men should be curious and open-minded about their masculinity and not be afraid or ashamed to explore their interests, passions, talents, or hobbies, regardless of whether they are considered masculine. 

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They should also be honest and authentic about their masculinity and not be afraid or ashamed to express their emotions, feelings, or needs, regardless of whether they are considered masculine or not.

Learn and practice emotional intelligence.

The third step to overcoming toxic masculinity involves learning and practicing emotional intelligence. This means understanding, managing, and expressing one’s emotions and empathizing, communicating, and relating to others’ emotions. 

Men should be open to learning about their emotions and how they impact their thoughts, actions, and well-being. They should also learn to manage their feelings and healthily cope with stress, anger, or sadness. 

Furthermore, they should be willing to express their emotions and seek help when needed, all while empathizing with others’ emotions and providing support in compassionate ways.

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Build and maintain positive and healthy relationships.

The fourth step to overcoming toxic masculinity is to build and maintain positive and healthy relationships with oneself and others. Men should be respectful and loving towards themselves, not harsh, critical, or abusive. 

They should also be respectful and caring towards others, not violent, dominant, or controlling. They should also nurture and cherish their relationships and not take them for granted or neglect them.

Conclusion About The Hidden Struggle With Toxic Masculinity

Toxic masculinity is a term that describes the negative aspects of masculinity that are harmful to men and others. It is a social and cultural construct that defines how men should think, feel, and act based on the assumption that there is only one way to be a man and that any deviation from that norm is a sign of weakness, inferiority, or femininity. 

Toxic masculinity can cause various physical, mental, and emotional problems for men and can also harm women, children, and society as a whole. However, toxic masculinity is not inevitable, natural, or permanent. It is possible, desirable, and beneficial for men to overcome toxic masculinity.